1. Moms Were Made to Mediate.
Russia getting ornery with the US? China and Japan arguing over who has the lower debt per capita? Mom to the rescue. Mom always hears both sides and makes you apologize even when you don’t want to.
2. Moms Are Always Trying to Feed You.
Say goodbye to world hunger! Moms live to nourish. She is going to feed every soul on this planet and still have left overs for tomorrow’s dinner.
3. Moms Get You Out of Trouble.
Put your foot in your mouth? Mom. Called for jury duty? Mom. Getting audited by the IRS? Mom.
4. Moms Are Always Right.
Need I say more? If at first you don’t succeed, try it the way Mom suggested.
5. Moms Are Superior Multitaskers.
Mom will be able to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and extinguish an argument in the Senate, all while making sure you don’t skip out on your Geometry homework.
6. Moms Taketh Zero Crap.
There ain’t no way a Mother would struggle with getting laws passed or rules enforced. She just gives you that silent look to kill, and instantly – no more crime.
7. Moms Live to Love.
Her job is to be our biggest supporter, a teammate we can count on indefinitely. If a Mother ran the world, world peace would be tangible reality. Assuming we kept our beds made.